


Demons of the Punjab

by Bow_Ties



Series: Series 11...but Thasmin [6]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:09:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21917329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bow_Ties/pseuds/Bow_Ties
Summary: After the events in the Punjab, Yaz can't find any sleep. Thankfully, the Doctor stayed close by, ready to whisk her off to an alien planet more magical than anything Yaz could have imagined. And maybe, just maybe, a little bit of magic is all the Doctor needs to finally jog her own memory.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Series: Series 11...but Thasmin [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1578505
Comments: 4
Kudos: 113





	Demons of the Punjab

An eerie silence had settled around the room as soon as the tell-tale noises of the TARDIS had announced their landing. The Doctor, for once uncharacteristically quiet, was leaning against the console, eyes fixed on the small crystal replica of her ship.

“Alright then, Doc'', Graham said, putting on his jacket. “We’re off then.”

All the Doctor did was nod, and Ryan shot Yaz a concerned look, one she did her best to ignore.

After Ryan and Graham left, the latter briefly touching Yaz’s shoulder and giving her a sympathetic smile as he passed her, she was left alone in the console room, with the Doctor still enveloped in her own thoughts.

“So”, Yaz said, awkwardly shifting her weight from one foot to another. “I’ll see you Saturday, yeah? Like always?”

At that, the Doctor finally looked up, and Yaz was surprised to see a deep guilt and sadness in the blonde’s eyes.

“I’m sorry, Yaz. Shouldn’t have taken you there. Never good to go meddle in your family’s past. I’ve seen it before, I should have known better.”

“Doctor”, Yaz said, taking a tentative step forward. “Whatever the outcome, I’m glad I was there. I’m glad -” she stopped, swallowing. “I’m glad he wasn’t alone.”

Smiling sadly, the Doctor nodded. They stood in silence for a moment then; just looking at each other, and Yaz couldn’t help but feel the by now familiar pain in her chest upon watching the other woman. She wondered if anything would ever hurt the same way than looking into those eyes and knowing they would never remember.

Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to smile. “Alright then, I’ll see you soon.”

The Doctor opened her mouth to reply but then, seemingly thinking better of it, closed it once more; only nodding in response.

Yaz turned, walking out of the TARDIS doors. As the cool night air hit her, she shivered at the stark difference of temperature between Sheffield and the Punjab. An image of Prem and Umbreen, so full of hope and love the evening before their wedding, flashed through her mind, and she had to blink away the tears that immediately threatened to spill from her eyes.

_ Love abides in the face of everything. _

The Doctor’s words had been so beautiful, but the way she had looked at Yaz during this speech, something intangible flashing through her eyes for just a moment, had only served to further deepen the invisible, constant wound in Yaz’s chest.

A wound, that’s what had happened in Alabama could best be described as. It was as if the Doctor had sliced her open, cut out a piece of her by taking what Yaz had so willingly given, and since then Yaz was bleeding freely. Every time she even attempted to close the wound, the Doctor would look at her  _ like that _ , or hold her hand, or tell her that she was her favorite. It was becoming unbearable to the extent where Yaz wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do anymore.

_ As if I could ever walk away _ , she thought, briefly turning at the top of the stairs to look back down at that familiar blue box, still standing there against the night sky. A doorway to the stars. To all of space and time. To  _ her _ .

Sighing, she pulled her keys out of her jacket, and turned to unlock the door. She was greeted by darkness and silence inside, and confusion settled over her for a moment.

“Mum?” she called out, but there was no response.

Yaz fumbled with the lightswitch for a moment, and blinked as she was momentarily blinded when the bulb above her head flickered to life. 

_ What day did we land? _ she wondered, suddenly worried that the Doctor had brought her back to the wrong time where they had all moved out and she was walking into the flat of some other family.

The worry settled as she saw the familiar magnets on the fridge, and the calendar on the wall.

“Ah'', she said. “Date night.”

Her parents made an effort to find time just for the two of them each week, and Sonya usually took the opportunity to hang out with her friends; which meant that Yaz would be alone, at least for a couple more hours. On the one hand, having a little bit of peace and quiet was usually welcome. On the other, she wasn’t sure if maybe that was such a good idea right now. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw Prem and Umbreen smiling and a second later she could hear the shot ringing through the air as if she was still standing in that field.

Shaking her head, trying to rid herself of the memories, she turned towards her bedroom. Sleep. Sleep would help, and tomorrow would be a new day. She could go visit her Nani, sit with her, listen to her talk. Yaz suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to spend more time with her in the future, now that she knew what incredible loss her grandmother had suffered so long ago.

By the time she had put on her pyjamas and brushed her teeth, she felt a deep tiredness settle into her bones. Suddenly exhausted, she slowly padded over to her bed, lifting the covers up and crawling underneath, succumbing to sleep mere moments later.

She woke up, startled, a racing heart and shaking limbs forcing her upright in her bed. Eyes wide open, she searched the room, confused for a few seconds about where she was. When her gaze fell on the familiar plush toy from her childhood, perched on the windowsill, she finally registered that she was at home, in her own room.

Another stab of shock coursed through her body as her mind let another gunshot ring through her head. 

The gunshot. That’s what had woken her up. Bringing her hands up to her face she tried to calm her breathing, forcing her brain to remember what she had seen in her sleep before it had slipped away completely.

_ The Doctor _ .

She had been in the field, but instead of looking back to watch Prem walk up to his certain death, it had been the Doctor, coat billowing behind her in the wind, a smile on her face, until -

Gasping, Yaz dropped her hands from her face. She knew it had just been a nightmare, yet she couldn’t shake the anxiety that was coursing through her veins. Knowing that the alien had long departed for her solo adventures that she got up to when her “fam” was going about their everyday earthly lives, she still couldn’t help but throw the covers aside and crawl to the end of her bed, where she could look out through the window. She pulled the curtain to the side and there it was, the blue box, still standing there, its light glowing warmly in the dark.

Before Yaz knew what she was doing, she was throwing on her dressing gown and grabbing her keys from her desk. She wasn’t sure what time it was, but chances were her family had returned home while she had been asleep, and so she did her best to be quiet as she slipped into a pair of trainers and walked out, pulling the door closed behind her.

\---

“Oi!” the Doctor exclaimed, pulling a hand away from a cable that had just zapped her. “Don’t do that!”

She threw the console a wary look, and a distinctly annoyed sequence of beeps rang through the air.

“Don’t say that! I  _ am  _ trying to fix you.”

Another series of noises emitted from the console had the Doctor frowning. “What does that mean?”

With the next few beeps, the walls around the Doctor changed their colour to a slightly darker orange.   
  
“Yaz? Why would I be trying to distract myself from -”

The Doctor turned her head mid-sentence as the TARDIS doors opened slowly, a cool breeze waving inside the ship.

“Yaz.”

Her companion was standing in the door, looking slightly dishevelled in just her pjs and a dressing gown, a forlorn look on her face.

“Doctor”, Yaz said softly. She looked so small and lost for a moment that it took all the Time Lord’s self-restraint not to run up to her and envelop her in her arms.

_ In my arms. _

An image flashed through the Doctor’s mind, the same one she had seen during her speech at the wedding. Yaz’s face, between her hands, her lips red and swollen from kissing, her eyes filled with love and desire. It felt like a memory, which wasn’t possible, because the Doctor was entirely sure she had never gotten quite  _ that  _ close with her companion. There was no denying that Yaz was her favorite, and she wished they could go on adventures just the two of them more often, like on Tsuranga - minus the excruciating pain of a ruptured ecto-spleen of course.

The Doctor realised her thoughts had run away from her when Yaz took an awkward step back, wrapping her dressing gown tighter around herself.

“Sorry”, she said, half-smiling. “You’re probably busy.”

Finally kicking herself into action, the Doctor jumped up from the floor she had been sitting on. 

“No, no, stay! You know you’re always welcome in the TARDIS.”

An affirmative bleep from the TARDIS put a smile on both women’s faces, and Yaz took a tentative step towards the console.

“I just… I couldn’t sleep”, she mumbled, looking a little bit embarrassed at the affirmation.

“No worries'', the Doctor replied, smiling. “I figured you might have some...feelings after today’s events, so I stayed around.”

For a moment, the Doctor was surprised at her own words. She hadn’t actively decided to stay for Yaz, but now that she had said it out loud she realised it was true. Frowning, she looked at the TARDIS walls.   
  
_ What do you know that I don’t _ , she wondered, but for once the ship stayed quiet in response.

“Can we go somewhere?” Yaz suddenly asked. “Somewhere nice, no chases or any trouble. Just… something pretty to look at. You mentioned somewhere, a place with Singing Towers once?”

A familiar pang of pain shot through the Doctor’s hearts, yet she managed to not let it show on the outside. When had she told Yaz about Darillium? This new regeneration was so talkative.

“Maybe we’ll leave those for some other time.”

The Doctor paused for a moment, thinking about what kind of planet Yaz would like; what could best distract her from the turmoil she was obviously feeling after her look into her grandmother’s past. Then it suddenly dawned on her.

“Oh yes!” she exclaimed. “I’ve got an idea.”

She whirled around the console, pushing buttons and pulling levers, sending them off into the Time Vortex.

“I think you’re going to like this'', she said, looking up to grin at Yaz who still looked a bit wary. “No danger, I promise'', the Doctor reassured her, placing a hand on her companion’s arm.

Another set of images flashing through her mind, then her own voice speaking words that had never left her mouth.

_ “...take my mind off it.” _

She shook her head, trying to concentrate on flying the TARDIS. This was happening way too often now, blurry, incomplete, and most importantly false memories assaulting her mind with such regularity that she was beginning to wonder if something had gone wrong when she passed from her former self to this one. Eyebrows had been one stubborn old man and regeneration sickness was a horrible thing even when you didn’t unnecessarily delay the change.

They landed moments later and the Doctor pulled herself out of her own thoughts once more, feeling excitement bubble up inside her chest when she headed for the door.

“Oh you’ll love this one", she said, giddily pulling the doors open.

“It looks pretty”, Yaz spoke next to her, looking unconvinced as she let her eyes wander around the clearing that they had landed in. It was night here, too, and the forest that surrounded them didn’t look much different to those they had on earth, except for the grass having a slightly blue-ish shade.

“It’s not about how it looks'', the Doctor replied, grinning. “Step outside.”

She stayed in the doorway, holding her breath as Yaz stepped outside, onto the grass.

_ One… two… _

The Doctor watched as Yaz’s chest lifted with a breath and then a moment later, her eyes grew wide.

“What the -”

Another breath, hands lifting to hover on the sides of her head, immediately followed by her companion turning around to look at her.

“How is this possible?”

“Ah'', the Doctor said. “For once, I’m not entirely sure.”

She stepped outside, joining Yaz on the grass. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath in through her nose, and smiled.

Her head was immediately filled with sound, the most exquisite melodies resonating through every synapse of her brain.

“Nobody knows how it came to be like this, but the air here'', she said, opening her eyes again to lift her arm and let her hand glide through the air in front of her, prompting more sounds to fill her ears. “Seems to be made out of a naturally occuring telepathic sound field. You breathe, you move, you will hear sounds. Not only that! You can form it into song, if you concentrate enough.”

“How?” Yaz whispered, eyes glowing with wonder as she looked into the Doctor’s.

“Sit down'', the Doctor replied, taking off her coat to spread it over the grass in front of the TARDIS. 

Yaz did as she was told, leaning her back against the blue wood behind her as she stretched her legs out over the grass. As soon as she had sat down, the Doctor joined her, their shoulders inevitably touching in the limited space in front of the TARDIS doors. With the air being this telepathically charged, she realised she would have to concentrate in order for them not to accidentally telepathically communicate with each other through their touch; but the Doctor decided that she was able to deal with a slight connection through their shoulders.

“Right”, the Doctor said, listening to the tingling noise that rang through her ears as she placed her hands in her lap. “Close your eyes.”

She watched Yaz’s lids close and waited until her face was relaxed, then proceeded to close her own eyes.

“Breathe in, deeply.”

A soft chuckle escaped her companion’s lips, and the Doctor smiled. “I know'', she whispered. “It tickles.”

“Now, think about something that makes you feel a deep emotion. Love usually works best. I don’t recommend anger, it can get very loud in your head. Not exactly pleasing anymore at that point.”

She practically felt Yaz smile next to her, then proceeded to find something for herself to think about.

Inevitably, an image of River flashed through her head, but she chased it away.

_ Not today _ , she thought as the beginning of a familiar chorus of female voices began forming themselves into a melody filled with melancholy.

For a moment, her thoughts were empty, only punctured by the quiet rise and fall of the sounds created by her breath.

Then, something settled in her chest and bloomed, like a flower opening to the light, and the Doctor was smiling again, a deep, content smile, only tainted by a faint sense of longing.

An image of Yaz, smiling as she leaned against one of the pillars in the TARDIS console room flashed through her mind, followed by another one of her, lying next to the Doctor on Tsuranga. And then, at the back of her mind, she could feel the music coming together, like pieces of a previously broken vase being lifted into the air one by one, floating around her until they started falling into place next to each other, as if led by the invisible hand of an ancient conservator. 

Strings, quietly accompanying in the background, then a trumpet, and finally, a voice, rich and deep, filling the Doctor’s very being to the brim with music. 

_ It was written high above... that I have to have your love. _

With a jolt, the Doctor opened her eyes, and looked over at Yaz, who, unnoticed by the alien so consumed with the sound in her mind, had moved, her head now resting on the Doctor’s shoulder.

“Yaz”, the Doctor whispered. “Yaz, look at me.”

The young woman’s eyes fluttered open, and she looked up sheepishly through heavy lashes.

The moment their eyes met, warmth blossomed all through the Doctor’s chest, and the longing that had she had so faintly felt before suddenly intensified, momentarily taking her breath away. 

_ Was it possible? Could it really have happened that way? _

She did the only thing she could think of then, lifting a hand to let it rest on Yaz’s cheek, and then, slowly, guiding the young woman’s face up while she leaned towards her.

The moment their lips touched, the thin telepathic barrier that the Doctor had held up between them collapsed, and her mind was assaulted with images streaming in from Yaz’s, mixing with the Doctor’s own resurging memories, forming an almost indistinguishable flood of thoughts in the Doctor’s head.

A bathroom in Alabama. A kiss, golden light in the Doctor’s eyes.  _ Pain, so much pain _ , followed by the sweet release of lips on her own, and then Yaz’s hands on her body, Yaz’s fingers gliding over her,  _ into her - _

And then, the music was all around them, thundering through the air as the same song in both of their minds collided, joining together to fill the space around them.

The Doctor gasped, lifting her other hand to cup Yaz’s face, pulling her closer and kissing her more intensely as she felt the other woman hungrily reciprocate and melt into her side.

“Yaz”, the Doctor breathed when they finally pulled apart, lips swollen and red. “Yaz I - I had no idea.”

“You remember”, her companion whispered, eyes going wide, tears beginning to well up.

“I am so sorry”, the Doctor whispered, hands still on either side of Yaz’s face. “I don’t know how I could have ever forgotten  _ that _ .”

Yaz looked at her for a moment, then, suddenly, leaned forward, burying her head against the Doctor’s chest, who wrapped her arms around her shoulders, holding her tight.

“Why didn’t you say anything'', the Doctor said softly.

There was a moment of silence then Yaz spoke, almost inaudibly, turning her face to look out at the clearing.

“I was scared.”

The Doctor frowned but before she could say anything, Yaz continued:

“I was so scared that you wouldn’t remember. But then I realised I was even more scared that you  _ would _ remember and that -”, she stopped, lifting one hand and placing it on the Doctor’s chest, next to her face, resting it just over her hearts. “That it wouldn’t mean the same thing to you than it meant to me.”

The Doctor was sure that Yaz would be able to feel her hearts break under her fingertips the moment the words had been spoken.

“Oh Yaz”, the Doctor finally breathed, once more placing a hand on the woman’s cheek, gently guiding her face up so she could look at her. “Yaz, it meant  _ everything _ to me.”

At that, Yaz’s eyes filled with such incredible joy that the Doctor felt herself smile, and then it was Yaz who leaned forward, enveloping her lips with a kiss. Not desperate, or hungry, like the ones before, but sweet, soft, and slow, filled with hope and a promise of tomorrow.

Afterwards, they sat for a while, Yaz’s head resting on the Doctor’s shoulder again, both women listening to the music ringing through their heads. Holding Yaz’s hand in her own, the Doctor softly traced the remnants of the fading wedding henna on its back, each movement causing a small sound to be born around them, until the Doctor realised that Yaz had fallen asleep, sung to sleep by the million lullabies surrounding her. But the Doctor didn’t move away, instead she lost her sense of time as she sat as still as she could, watching the slow rise and fall of Yaz’s chest, committing every single movement to memory.

She would never forget a single moment of this ever again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading :) If you enjoyed it, please consider leaving a comment.  
> And don't forget to check out all the wonderful works by amazing authors in this series :)
> 
> You can find me on twitter as @fuxdeiflswued


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